Now I Feel Retired

I have been retired now for a little over two months. In fact, I did not actually feel retired until August 7, when my colleagues had to return to work. They worked three days, and then the students started. I thought I would be sadder than I am. I thought I would have pangs of regret once the school year started and I was not a part of it. However, that has just not happened.

On Wednesday, August 12, 2009, the students started back to school. I had promised my kindergarten colleagues that I would come that day to help out with the typical first-day chaos. It was nice to be back among the kids. It was nice to see my colleagues. It was not nice to have to contemplate the cruel reality that these precious five-year-olds will have to face.

Gone are the days when a future architect can build a block tower just to delightedly crash it down. Gone are the days when a future graphic designer can experiment with paint and create a whole new color. Gone are the days when a future civil engineer can design a road for the car on the floor. Gone are the days when a future mother can lovingly rock the baby doll while crooning her to sleep. Gone are the days when five-year-olds can spend time just conversing with each other, working out how this getting along thing works.

It breaks my heart to see the soul sucked out of a place that used to be a bubbling spring of juvenile joy and enthusiasm. As a result, I have decided that my volunteering at my former school will be limited to helping with the choir. At least there, the joy still can be heard.